It hasn’t even been released yet (though Saban Films has acquired North American distribution rights), but nothing seemed as worthy of the number-one spot as Sean Penn’s film, which, infuriatingly, premiered in competition at Cannes in May. A stunningly self-important but numbingly empty cocktail of romance and insulting refugee porn, The Last Face uses a backdrop of Third World atrocity, suffering and merciless human-rights violations as the canvas for a faux-profound Hollywood love story.
Beautiful movie stars — Javier Bardem, sporting flawless, bedroom-chic stubble, and Charlize Theron, wearing dewy no-makeup makeup and an excellent moisturizer — battle for 130 stultifying minutes to listen to their hearts while their souls take a hammering. Audiences are more likely to check out and just leave them to it. The movie also has the dubious distinction of featuring the following line of dialogue: “She leaks urine, but she keeps on dancing.” ‘Nuff said. — D.R.